Here are some phrases/headings, (some very esoteric), appealing to the Trekkie/Geek types following the title of – “To baldly go…..

1. It’s worse than that he’s bald Jim.
2. We are the Borg: you will be delapidated – resistance is futile.
3. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. The needs of the few outweigh the needs of the one.
4. He’s Gnome Jim – but not as we know him.
5. Shaving Gnome’s beard? Ye cannae break the laws of physics.
6. Kapla! (“OMG the human is a slaphead”).
7. Shaving Gnome’s beard… Fascinating.
8. I wished to be shaved for charity – “Make it so”.
9. He’s had a tribble on his chin for over 30 years.
10. Shaving Gnome? Please Captain, not in front of the Klingons.
11. To shave Gnome’s hair and beard – but that is not logical.
12. My shaver’s just about to blow a dilithium crystal.
13. If I filed my teeth down and glued on one of the curtains from Sam’s old doll house to the back of my head I could be one of the Ferengi.
14. It could be worse – I could be wearing a red shirt!